Nick (The Green One)

I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me bitch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once—would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just…you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.

Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts." God, I can't think of anything more awkward that that.

Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other asshole guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that. That's what makes us us.

Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be.

Heroes: I like that they brought Charlie back. I hate that they are bringing Mohinder back...

Dexter: We are only halfway through the season? It seems like we are much farther than that... where is the story going to go and how are they going to masturbate another 5 episodes out of nothing?

Modern Warfare 2: I was told my store is doing a huge release party. There's gonna be a radio station and free shit.

OH AND DO THIS ON FACESPACE

I know, it has been almost two months, but whatever.

Here's the idea: Chuck E. Cheese for ADULTS (or at least young adults).

I have always wanted to do a movie theater that showed films from the past. Just one theater with a decent amount of seating that would feature one particular film a day. Having viewer's choice Fridays, half off Wednesdays are just a few promotional ideas.

What else do you find in the typical movie theater aside from a concession stand? The answer my friends is an arcade, but they are typically an after thought. I want my arcade to be wondrous and full of dreams. It would feature todays greats, yesterdays marvels and of course pinball games. I foresee game challenges of space invaders (set to an all Rush mixtape of course), pacman, donkey kong, air hockey and many more. There will be a posted record board near the entrance displaying the top score (maybe top 3) of the top 10 games featured in our building. Earning a spot on this board will entitle the player to free movies until their spot is taken away, their choice of a film each month they hold the title and VIP privileges.

You might be thinking this is all just a nerd fantasy, am I right? Well, what if I told you I had a little something extra up my sleeve. There's a bar. You can enjoy your beverages in the theater or in the arcade.

Next week all of the the full timers were given an extra day off for the holiday except for one. She noticed this and bitched and ended up getting her extra day off.

Skip forward to last night:

Our load was not getting done. I volunteered at the beginning of the shift to come in if need be. I am always looking for hours, if I am available. Well, I was given 8 hours to do finish the load. People caught wind of this and started bitching. Why? Because they can only think of the holiday pay. I was going to get 6 hours of holiday pay and 2 hours of non-holiday pay. I was really just looking to get extra hours because money is money. In the end, the hours that I was given along with the hours that someone else was given were awarded to the two full timers that have an extra day off next week (one of which had to ask for her's).

It's so lame that you only want to work when time and half is involved. I would pick up your shifts that you aren't working next week, but seeing as how we all work on the same days I can't. I would have even worked on tuesday night to finish the load. I just want to work. I have no social life. Not being in school and having days off work, means that I am really bored.

It all turned out ok though (hopefully). I will be calling Rich (daytime manager) here in a little bit, to inquire about a monday shift from 430-11 (6.5 hours of 100% holiday pay) which might even turn into more than that seeing as how the day shift sucks (not my words) and can never get anything done. Rich was interested in having me work more day shifts if I was available, so that should mean that he will give me the shift no problem especially since it is such short notice.

Nick and I recently decided we are paying way too much for this shithole apartment. It's not in Copper Beach condition, but it certainly aint the fucking ritz. We pay 350 a month and 50 dollars for a year's parking permit. Too bad there is never a fucking place to park. When you enter the building you can smell it's age. The place is only equipped to give us bullshit internet that always disconnects. Our electricity bill is fucking rigged as we are paying 120 a month for that.

The place we are moving to is 30 dollars more a month per person and we have to cover our own cable and internet bill, but it will be worth it. Gonna have a garage and guaranteed spot close to the apartment. Only one other apartment on the same floor as us. Handicap access if on the the floor of the entrance, so Joe could finally visit. Central Air. A bathroom for each of us. Very nice interior. A WALK IN CLOSET for each of us. Let's just say they are the size of a bathroom. As Nick stated, "I dunt even have enough clothes to warrant a walk in closet, but it's a walk in closet." The rooms are the same size if not slightly bigger than Nick's current room (my current room is slightly smaller). A washer and Dryer in it's own little room.

We want to move now.

I started making a list of things I want to get for the new place. I definitely want to get my standing coat rack (I miss the IV stand i used to use as one when I lived at home) and a nice little night stand. Maybe get a better surround sound receiver (w/ at least 3 standard inputs and 1 optical input) and/or a headboard.

For the living room we are going to need a tv stand that is able to accomodate 8-10 video game systems and the cable box.

TL;DR: You still harbor feelings for the man that cheated on you and ended the relationship and immediately had another woman waiting in the wings. If this is love to you, I will never love you as much as you love him and he certainly won't either.

I write this from a somewhat biased point of view, but hope that you can put my bias to the side see that my bias is not at all layered in my point.

Women who have unhealthy relationships...
(definition of an unhealthy relationship - you are going around venting on a daily basis of how much this man gets on your nerves, but yet you attempt to make it understood that he is a great guy, despite these flaws. You are deluding yourself into believing that this is the only man that has the capability to love you despite his annoying habits. I do understand that relationships have their ups and downs, but when he is almost never spoken of in a positive tone unless you are defending him, it just is not right)

... with partners that end up cheating on them and manage to keep it a secret through lies and deception for months at a time should never under any circumstance have a good breakup with said man.

You go through the motions of a harsh breakup, but find yourself running back to him and constantly keeping in contact with him via texts/IMs and various other methods of nonverbal communication. This is a critical error on your end. He responds because he can feel that he still holds power over you despite what he has put you through. He has the power to do whatever he wants and still be forgiven because you are too oblivious to see real men all around you that will not cheat, are far less annoying and actually love you as a person and not just as a good time.

Let it be known that I have and will always love you, but not in anyway other than a friendship. You are a great person to be around and would make an excellent partner if you could see how awesome of a person you are and not just loved by this one man that will never show you any fucking respect. I really do feel sorry for you and wish that you would read this and realize that I am right. Move on. You told me yourself that this is not the type of person you could see yourself with, but yet you keep going back to him.

Im going to see Chevelle Play at the Machine Shop on Sept 13. Gonna be a fucking sweet gig.

Walked to Family Fare last night. It was epic to say the least.

Healthy Choice steamer meals are the fucking shit, especially since they are on sale for almost half price.

Cherry Dr Pepper wasn't all that. It was slightly different, but I really thought Dr Pepper was supposed to be Cherry to begin with.

Applied to work for the Coca-Cola company last night... Let's hope I hear back.

The email with my phone's tracking information got sent to my brother (for some reason). I didnt even think they were going to give me this information. Anyway, it left Ontario, CA yesterday at 1pmish and hasn't updated since... way to fucking go.

Fuck the internet in it's portly asshole.

Called last thursday to get my phone replaced because the keypad does not work properly. I was told I would get the phone in 2-3 business days. Come Saturday night, I had not received the phone, so I decided to call and check on the status of the phone.

On Sunday, I was finally able to get ahold of someone to find out the status of the phone. I was met with the most retarded woman ever. There were long pauses where pauses were not necessary. I was eventually told (after being placed on hold 4 times) that my order was never processed on account of some bullshit. She did however get the order placed and put in motion. So, I was once again met with a 2-3 day timeline.

Today, i called to see if I could expect the phone this morning. I was told that the order was indeed placed, but a tracking number was not available. Now, I have been without a working phone for almost a week. I asked if I could pick up the phone at a store instead of having the phone shipped, but for some reason, this concept was foreign to her. She told me I could contact FedEx on the matter... Not what I was looking for. I want need a replacement phone today. I clarified my point and she told me that since the order was placed that there was no going back.

I will be going in to speak with a rep at a store to see if I can be compensated for this bullshit I have had to deal with over the past week. I am tired of getting deals made and then have shit thrown into my coffee. I needed this phone a week ago and was told by two people that I would have it 4 days ago.

Giving up Facebook for a while. Twitter is still an option.

Watched the Notebook last night. It wasn't that bad. Finishing up Red Eye, now. I need more Rachel McAdams in my life.

My new phone got waylaid by jackassery. I should be getting it today. The last person I talked to on the phone was sooooooooooooo(there aren't enough o's to describe it) fucking incompetent, but got the phone sent off. At the latest, I could get it tomorrow and that would still piss me off.

You are not attracted to me because you are not crazy.
I am attracted to you because you are not attracted to me.

/baw

As much as it pains me, I will probably return to cedar point next year. I really do not want to, but it might just have to happen unless something of great significance can keep me here for another summer. I am thinking I will sign up to be a dayshift (crazy I know) bellhop. I know they get fewer hours, but I can supplement that with picking up random third shift jobs at Breakers and Sandcastle and also filling in on the shuttle shifts. Also, the bell staff was usually pretty lazy and would give away their shifts all the time. The only real downside to all this is I would have to start out at the door, which would suck huge dick.

I just had a much easier time holding onto my paychecks when I worked there. I have no idea why, but it just was.It is possible however, If I switch to a dayshift job, I might not be able to hang onto the money like I used to. I'll give it a shot. With the Mighty Messenberg back at the hotel I think it will be a much better place.

Love is like a game of chess. Everyone starts out in the same position. There is an opening, a middlegame and an endgame. You can either be casual or competitive about it. It's a lot of give and take (or tradeoffs if you prefer). You can get upset over the end of it, but I'm sure you had a good time while it lasted. If you lost, you probably made some mistakes along the way and overlooked some crucial plays from the other side. Some people know how to play and some just never bothered to learn. There are a lot of different strategies, but they are usually predictable (if you know the signs). You can play a machine, but it's just not the same. Hell, some games are even done in groups.

Also, I always have to be black because I don't like to make the opening move. Who wants to play a game?

[I am proud of this concept & I really want to play chess]

received an email from Glaceau regarding the vitaminenergy® beverage. The line has been officially "discontinued."

Thia was something that i had written back in April and thought I would edit it, but I have become too lazy and just want to post it.

If I were to have the misfortune of having children, this is how I would preferably raise them.

TV: No cable or satellite television. Through the modern convenience of TV on DVD and other various formats, I would like to take the controlling distribution of cable and network television out of the scenario. Up until the age of around 8 or so I would have them watching the shows that were shown on PBS. Shows like Shining Time Station (yeah, George Carlin for Kids motherfuckers!), Sesame Street (why not?), The Muppets, Arthur, Wishbone, Magic School Bus. I would then like to transition to Shows like Bill Nye and Mr Wizard, but not deprive them of classics like Looney Tunes, The Jetsons, 2 Stupid Dogs, and of course (all things) scooby doo. After about 10-12 years of this type of television I would give them free reign on their viewing. Now, that they have experienced all of the life lessons and such, they can advance their minds for real world affairs. I believe the best sort of transition towards this would be Doug and Rocko's modern life. I have a firm belief that censorship is bullshit and once they hit the age of 12 it would be their choice. I would take them to see movies in the theatre, but not based on advertisements (I have a firm position against the advertising industry, hence no cable).

Schooling: I would prefer homeschooling, but also staying active with children their age. I do not like the influences that children receive from advertising and then push on other children. "you are not cool unless you wear these clothes, watch this show/movie, eat this, drink that and so on." The only way I see to remove this from the upbringing of my kids would be to either have kids involved in the same program that I would like to impose on my children (actually can I get a federal grant and enroll expecting parents and newborn children in my program in a small town created for this purpose?) or remove my kid(s) from the advertising bombardment. Unlike in my childhood, I would strongly endorse reading. Reading was never part of my childhood ever and that continues on through to my current situation.

Outside activities: I would have the kid(s) in programs such as sports (hockey, tennis) and arts programs such as acting (but not too much because that usually leads to gay). These types of programs would be great for social skills and character building that they would not receive from a public education.

Internet and like entertainment: video games are perfectly acceptable form of entertainment. Of course, I would start small and work up to where we are at today. I would be strong on Linux based computers. Overall they offer the same functions better, cheaper and in some instances more functions. Linux would run

I have been watching the Back to the future trilogy again. I am currently on the second movie and I just thought about how it all ends. With the way that the third movie ends, Marty changes his future and thus completely eliminating the events of the future events in the second movie.

spoilers
Bare with me here... As none of the events took place, there is still the possibility that marty mcfly jr could or more importantly probably did end up falling into trouble with griff and ending up in jail.

Also, in the third movie, why not just use gasoline and spare parts from the time machine the doc traveled in to get to the 1885 instead of try to just make the one marty came back in to rescue the doc (there were two time machines in that time period, but we only saw the one).

Guy dancing @ Sasquatch 2009 to
Santigold - Unstoppable
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GA8z7f7a2Pk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbI0QOI6_-4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nU7dxkIz1Vs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGXN-9caULA

Ottawa Citizen Article
CBC Article

We are canceling the summer of movies. It was a great idea that just never went anyhwere.

I am currently operating on no sleep since I got out of work this morning (as I recall the same amount of sleep I had when I came up with the summer of movies idea) and have been thinking a lot this morning. Topics of thought include, but are not limited to; time-travel, puzzles, love, books, philosophy, Lost, chinese food, etc.

Mostly, it all comes back around to me and furthering my learn-ed book knowledge. I was tidying my room when it struck me; I should make a summer reading list. I was planning on using my days off to trek to nice secluded locations to read and relax, as unlikely as that sounds for any number of reasons. So, let's get some books going...

Lewis Carroll - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking Glass
Kurt Vonnegut - Slaughterhouse Five
Slapstick
Deadeye Dick
Anthony Burgess - A Clockwork Orange
Dave Barry - Tricky Business
~~~~~how about some summer reading I was supposed to do 6 or 7 years ago?~~~~~
George Orwell - 1984
Ken Kesey - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Charles Dickens - A Tale of Two Cities
~~~~~if I get creative enough and ambitious enough to read all those let's go crazy~~~~~
Sherwood Anderson - Winesburg, Ohio (a friend of mine recommended this)
Vladimir Nabokov - Look at the Harlequins (sounds like vonnegut + depressing russian literature)

Charlie: "It's weird. I barely knew her...barely know her, claire. She's been missing for over a week and everyday she's gone it feels like bits of me are crumbling, or something."
Kate: "I think it's right that you should keep her stuff safe until she gets back."

I have been told that I have only one more week in "hardgoods" I have been working more in the garden center than hardgoods anyway, so I take that bit of information lightly. After Memorial day, I will be starting my new job. I am excited to get back to where I belong, on the third shift. I really cant wait to get more hours for working less days and having a definite set schedule of days off.

I finally looked at my grades:
COM 202= B- (my first SWS class)
HST 205= B- (my second SWS class ^.^)
HST 386= C+ (did not do a 20 page paper that was worth 15% of my grade)
LIB 300= C- (turned in my 3 papers on the last day of class. Those papers made up 60% of my grade)
LIB 100= F (teacher was out of control and I had to stop going to class before I beat the shit out of her)
MGT 268= F (already took the class and received a "passing grade," but this time around it was too much)

I was pleasantly surprised, to say the least.

This week seems to have been the season finale week for almost all the shows that I am currently watching. Ashes to Ashes is still airing in the UK, but I havent finished season 1 yet to even further my viewing of season 2. My film list might actually get started soon. I still have full intentions on restarting the entire series of lost. I watched it all in September, catching up to anyone who was watching up until this fifth season. With the way that show has evolved, I can barely remember what it started out as despite having just hopping on the lost bandwagon.

Probably switching to third shift in the next couple weeks. My boss in GM needs me up until Memorial Day. He needs to hire more people as well, but he wants to keep me on until he does so. I will be a "road runner" for GM. I pull skids of receiving and the backroom onto the sales floor to get the product onto the floor for the stocking crew to stock. Other than that I dunt remember what she said I would be doing. I kno I will be getting paid 50 cents more and will be working Wed-Sat 9-530am. 32 hours a week when I am currently getting a mixed bag of hours.

On the subject of my current working condition; I was called in yesterday to work 330-10 in the garden center, but because we had 1 other person call off we were behind and I was held over until 1130. Today, we had another 2 (different) people call in, but no one came in to cover their shifts. We were once again behind, but I only had to stay until 1110, which was only an additional 10 minutes. Tomorrow, I work at 9am and as a result I will not be sleeping tonight. I will be doing laundry and playing games all night. Gotta get gas in the morning before work.

My summer of movies has yet to begin. I have rented some films, but havent started watching them. I rented Swingers, The Illusionist and Rushmore (which is not on my list, but the only wes anderson movie i have not seen).I have half off at family video until the end of this month and want to get some good renting in.

I was looking at what classes I need to graduate and I was trying to determine whether or not the history department was being straight with me on what I actually needed. According to the sheet, I am 12 credits away. Unfortunately I wanna bring my grades in ACC 310 and 321 from F's up to real grades so I cannot complete my degree in 2 semesters anyway (I wouldnt anyway since capstone classes are to be taken after you finish all the requirements anyway). I am looking to just finish school and I can do that by getting a straight up Bachelor of Science in History degree. Not a teaching certificate, but just history.

Here are the classes I need to take and when I am taking them:
Fall 2009
HST 203 - World History To 1500
HST 204 - World History Since 1500
HST 206 - America after 1877
HST 300 - Writing history - Pop culture, Great Depression (need to become a HST major to take)

Winter 2010
HST 315 - Latinos: The Forging of Ethnic Identities
HST 376 - History of Witches
HST 389 - Russian History
HST 317 - American Foreign Relations
HST 303 - Era of Sectional Conflict and Civil War

Fall 2010
SS 300 - Research Methods in the Social Science
HST 3__ - Undefined History elective that I will choose based on the classes offered that semester
HST 495 - Capstone: The Varieties of History (I will push to take this in the Fall so I can just graduate)

I am going to take 6 classes in Fall 2009, 5 classes in Winter 2010 and 4 classes in Fall 2010.

I am just tired of school, have been since high school and therefore, just going to get a degree. I like history so I might as well. After school I am going to stay here in Grand rapids at least until the lease runs out at which point I am going to head out west and see what I can do out there. If that fails I will head right back to Michigan and move into the UP which is the only place in Michigan I want to live.